


Abandoned

by impalaimagining



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Gen, Sam Winchester - Freeform, Sam Winchester Takes Care of Reader, Sam Winchester fanfiction, Supernatural - Freeform, sam winchester x reader - Freeform, sam winchester x you - Freeform, spn fanfic, spn fanfiction, supernatural fanfic - Freeform, supernatural fanfiction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-09-01 04:54:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16758337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impalaimagining/pseuds/impalaimagining
Summary: Sam and Dean try to leave on a hunt without telling you. You tell Sam about your past.





	Abandoned

**Author's Note:**

> The abuse gets pretty heavy, so if you’re affected by it, please be cautious about reading this!

You usually went on hunts with the Winchesters. You’d been hunting since you were thirteen, and - like Dean - had to take care of a younger brother throughout most of your childhood. It’d been a while since Nick was killed by a nest of vamps. You still had nightmares - pictures of him being torn to shreds that flashed through your head while you slept, screams of absolute horror and excruciating pain that echoed in your mind, even in the middle of the day. More than once, you’d woke one or both of the Winchester brothers up with your sobs in the dead of night.

Sam was always there, whether you woke him or Dean up first. His arms held you and rocked you back to a calmer, steadier version of yourself. It wasn’t often that you fell back asleep after the nightmares, but when you did, you always woke up next to Sam the next morning.

Dean was just as concerned, but he knew Sam knew how to take care of you. Dean was the one who found you crying in the corner of the vamps’ nest on the day you lost your brother. He was the first Winchester you came into contact with - he held you for close to an hour that day, telling you that it hurt and he knew that, but you were a hunter and strong enough to pull through. You loved Dean - he was like your older brother. When he woke up first to hear you crying, he held you until Sam made his way into the room. Then, he would saunter back to his room and lay awake until he heard your cries stop. Dean loved you, too, and always worried about you. He asked you every day if you were alright, and no matter how many times you promised him you were, he still hugged you tightly as you walked into the kitchen for breakfast.

The Winchester brothers had become your family. You were beyond grateful for them. They gave you a home, they loved you, and they kept you safe. You didn’t have any family other than your brother. Your parents left you to raise him when you were eight. It was hard, but you made it through. You spent years acting as a much better version of his mother. You always made sure he had food to eat and a bed to sleep on, no matter what you had to do to make that happen. More often that not, you stole to get the food, and beds were made from cushions of couches that people set out for trash. You slept on the sidewalk next to the cushions most nights, letting your brother be comfortable. That was the bond you and Dean shared - the sacrifices you _always_ made for your brothers.

You fell for Sam almost instantly. He was two years older than you, and so incredibly smart. You admired him almost every night while he did research, watching as his eyes grazed over page after page in book after book. When his brow furrowed at the information, you giggled, and the two of you would spend the rest of the nights in the library together. Those nights quickly turned from productive and filled with research to lazy and filled with kisses, lingering touches, and ultimately led to the bedroom. Dean was hesitant about your relationship with his younger brother at first, knowing that both of you had your own baggage. He finally decided that Sammy was worthy of having you, and that he was exactly what you needed. When you started sharing a room with Sam, you woke Dean up much less frequently after nightmares. Sam was already always there, holding you before you could even reach out for him. Dean missed you needing him to comfort you, but he knew - and was glad - Sam was enough.

Sam hated when Dean called him Sammy. When you did it, though, it made him smile. He knew you were being cute when you said it. Dean was just trying to make him feel like a kid. Once or twice, you let “Sammy” slip in the bedroom, and Sam had frozen when it happened. You felt embarrassed, but he assured you that it was okay. He always made you feel better about everything, even if it was your fault.

The guys had packed some bags and set them by the door, ready to be loaded into the Impala. You noticed them as you walked across the hallway, from the bathroom to your bedroom, and began packing your own bag. Sam heard you and walked into the room the two of you shared, asking what you were doing.

“I’m getting ready for the hunt. When were you gonna tell me we were leaving?” You didn’t look at him as you threw clothes into a duffel bag.

“Uh, I um - [Y/N], you’re not going with us on this one.” He looked at his feet as you turned to face him.

Your face twisted into an expression of confusion, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Excuse me? Not going with you?” Your tone was harsh, and for the first time, your anger was directed toward Sam.

“The monster - we’re not really sure what it is yet - but the vics have all been… Well they’ve all looked just like you. Dean suggested you stay here. Neither of us want you getting hurt.” He forced a smile.

“Sam, I am not a child. I know how to handle these things. Use me as bait! I’ll lure it in and we’ll gank it!” You were angry at both brothers, but Dean’s lingo had definitely become part of your vocabulary after spending so much time with him, and you couldn’t help but use his word.

Sam chuckled lightly hearing you say the word gank, sounding just like his brother.

“You can’t. I need you to be safe. I need to _know_ you’re safe. Promise me you’ll stay here?” He was walking toward you now.

His eyes begged you to stay. God, he was adorable. How could you say no to his puppy eyes?

“Sammy…” You couldn’t stand the thought of being alone.

The only time you were alone was when you were in the bathroom. Even then, your showers sometimes involved Sam. Your mind raced to the last time people had left you without warning - your parents.

“Sam, I can’t - “ Your voice broke as you sank on to your bed, holding you face in your hands and crying.

He ran to you immediately, enveloping you in his strong arms.

“Hey, it’s alright. We’ll be gone for a few days - a week at the most.” He ran his hand down your hair, smoothing it.

“Sam, you don’t understand. I - the last time anyone left without any kind of warning, it was my parents. They left me. They just LEFT Sam! They beat me, almost to death, and then they left me. My brother could barely talk yet, and he had to stand there and watch me bleed. He was so young…” You were crying, and yelling, and everything in between.

“Baby, it’s okay. I’m right here. No one is leaving you ever again. Hear me? I’m here forever, for you. Dean’s right across the hall - do you want Dean?” He pulled away from you slightly, just enough so he could look down at you.

You nodded and sniffled. Sam hadn’t know about your parents abusing you, just about them leaving. The new knowledge added a new level of trust to your relationship, and he knew he had to be careful with you from now on. In that moment, he vowed to himself never to touch you too roughly.

“I want you, too. Sam, don’t leave.” Your words were interjected with sharp breaths.

“I’m going to get Dean. I promise you, I’ll be right back.” He hugged you tightly, then stood to leave.

When Dean walked into your room, Sam was trailing behind him. You were honest when you said you wanted both of them. You needed to be held by both of them, together or separate - you didn’t care. This had been a long time coming. You hadn’t been alone since they found you and took you in. Before that, you always had your brother. Truly, the last people to walk out of your life were your parents. You hated them for that.

Dean walked toward the bed where you were sitting, hugging your arms around your knees, looking for some type of comfort.

“[Y/N], babe, calm down.” Dean wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you to him.

His pet names for you were nothing but innocent, and they usually helped you feel at ease. He called you almost everything under the sun: sweetheart, babe, hun, princess. Baby was reserved for Sam - you felt that had more intimacy. Hearing Dean’s voice and feeling his hand rubbing up and down your back, you looked up slightly and into his eyes.

“Dean…” You broke even farther, sobbing into his chest as he held you.

“I know. It’ll be okay. You’re coming with us. You never have to be alone.” He whispered into your hair, still hugging you tightly.

He shared a look with Sam, who was giving him the ultimate bitch face.

“Dean, she -” Sam began, but Dean cut him off.

“She’s coming with us, Sammy. We can’t leave her like this.” Dean’s grip on you loosened, and you reluctantly pulled away from him.

You wiped your tears, knowing you looked like a disaster.

“I’m going?” Your voice was weak, your throat sore from crying.

“You’re coming.” Dean still had his arm around your shoulder, and he smiled down at you when he said this.

“Thank you, Dean.” You wrapped your arms around him, letting him know you loved him almost as much as you loved your brother.

“Hey, I got you. When Sasquatch over here won’t let you do what you want, you know you always got me. I’ll never tell you no.” He motioned to Sam over his shoulder and winked at you.

“Dean, could you give us a minute?” Sam stepped farther into the room, walking toward you.

Dean nodded and left the room., He was always good about giving you and Sam your space when you asked for it.

“[Y/N], I really don’t think this is a good idea. Every single one of the vics had your hair color and eye color. And they were all about your height. We have no idea what this thing is, and we don’t know how to kill it.” His face was a mix of worry and sadness. “I can’t lose you.” Tears were resting in his eyes, threatening to spill over any second.

“Sam, you won’t lose me. I’ll stay in the motel or something. I just can’t be here alone, please.” You begged him to understand, to be sympathetic for even a second.

He closed his eyes and ran a frustrated hand through his hair. You were waiting for the sigh and further explanation as to why he didn’t want you to go, but instead he nodded and agreed with Dean.

“Alright. I can’t leave knowing you’re upset like this. How soon can you finish packing?” He looked to the other side of the room where your duffel bag was almost stuffed already.

“Let me grab my toothbrush and I’ll be ready to walk out the door. Sammy?” You stood up, grabbed the duffel bag, and zipped it shut.

“Yeah, baby?” He took it from you and slung it over his shoulder.

“I love you. Thank you for - for everything. Ever since my brother died, I’ve been pretty hard to handle. I know this isn’t easy for you. Being a hunter means not settling down, and I’m not saying we have to do that, but this bunker - this is our home, Sam. We _live_ here, and you make it feel like home. You and Dean are the greatest people who could’ve ever walked into my life. I - I just really love you, Sam Winchester. I want to be the one to nurse you back to health and clean your battle wounds. I want to fall asleep next to you every single night and wake up looking for you every morning. I will _never_ be a morning person.” You gave a small laugh, knowing you weren’t exaggerating.

Sam had dropped the duffel bag next to your door, and his arms were wrapped around you within seconds of you beginning to talk. He only held you tighter as you continued.

“You’re nothing short of amazing, [Y/N]. I love you, too. And all of those things - cleaning me up and nursing me back to health - I wouldn’t rather have anyone else do it. I love you so much. I needed you as much as you needed me back then. I don’t think you know how much you helped me. I had ju- just gotten my soul back. You never heard about that, did you? I was without a soul for over a year. It was the worst year of my life, and then right after it _somehow_ came back to me, you walked in. The day we found you, my life changed. You’re my world, [Y/N]. You saved me, even more so than you think I saved you.” He talked into your hair softly, fearing that if he spoke too loudly, your nerves would take over again.

His voice was breaking here and there, and you knew the two of you were about to be a crying, kissing mess.

“Sam-” You were going to continue gushing to him, but he cut you off with a gentle kiss.

His hands held your face as you pulled him closer, never wanting to go through this again. You were clueless to the fact that he didn’t have a soul. You weren’t even sure what that meant or how it was possible, but you didn’t want to know what soulless Sam was like. You loved the big, cute, kind man he was now. His soul seemed so pure.

Dean called your names and you pulled away from one another, walking toward the door.

“I love you.” You whispered as he grabbed your duffel bag again.

“More than anything.” He grabbed your waist with his free hand and kissed you one more time, silently vowing never even to think of leaving you again.


End file.
